Writing: A Dance of Fear and Courage

by Kade Cook, guest blogger

Becoming a writer was not exactly on my to-do-list.

The only real daydream of something of the sort was in a creative burst long ago, an idea that came to me in my early twenties over a cup of Earl Grey, sitting in front of a fireplace after I had put my little one to bed for the night.

Somehow, after only a matter of minutes, I had managed to outline an entire novel from start to finish before my tea even got cold.

A few attempts at starting that first chapter, were fun exciting but unfortunately that is as far as my ‘writing life’ had gone. Even though I knew the story, the characters the plot, the entire world I had manifested, I was too afraid to go any further and I panicked—setting down the pencil for nearly twenty years because I didn’t know how on earth I would make these characters actually talk. And so the story slumbered.

Many years later, I found myself down this road again, this time on a journey to find the creative spark that I had suppressed for so long. I had traded in my day job of being in the IT field to a twenty-four-seven job of being a mom of five, four of which were young children. With the constant bombardment of demands that this job entails, somewhere in between the diapers, sleepless nights and never ending puddles of spit ups I lost myself and what made me feel alive inside.

So, having become the shell of the person I once knew and the one I could feel suffocating in there somewhere, I began again. I was given an idea, not the same as before but still an idea that engaged my imagination and captivated my attention which in turn brought a new intense feeling of being alive.

I welcomed it with open arms.

I pushed through the obstacles and blockages that I had begun to face on this new quest, which believe me, there were more than I would have ever imagined. I embraced the desire of bringing this story inside my head to life as a process—a journey to find out who I was to become, and gratefully, the person I am now.

Now after more than two years of struggles, joys, tears and proud moments of accomplishments, my book GREY, the first to evolve in the Covenant of Shadows Series, is standing out there on its own for the entire world to see. And with that, the terrifying reality that I am letting strangers and friends see who I truly am from the inside out.

But it is fine.

It is more than fine, really.

It is mine and mine alone, it was my salvation. It allowed me to breathe when I felt the suffocation of real life. It took away all the pressure and weighted loads of responsibility that my life had demanded of me, and delivered me a gift—even if it was just for a few moments that I was allotted. Every word typed, every thought scribbled on a scrap of paper awoke me to the dream of an imaginary realm I had created—saving me from getting lost in a world that seemed so eager to swallow me up without a trace.

I guess all I am really trying to say is, for all those who are too afraid to jump in, to take that first step into a world you know nothing about because fear of failing is too much or being judged too harsh, do it anyway—follow your dreams and defend them with your entirety. Who knows, they might just save your life.

“It is a frightening thing to allow someone within the protective boundaries of your mind to observe your writing as they may judge, but it is even more frightening to know that you have allowed yourself to disappear without ever having written it.” – Kade Cook

Kade Cook is a semi-retired IT Professional turned author with her book, GREY, a fantastical journey that she began writing in the winter of 2015. GREY is now completed and is the first published novel in The Covenant of Shadows trilogy. Born and raised as a ‘Maritimer’ through and through, she will always be at home around good times and kind hearts—proud to be a daydreamer with a story to tell.

Website: https://covenantofshadowstrilogy.wordpress.com/

Twitter: https://www.twitter@CovOfShadows.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kadecook.author/
LinkedIn: https://ca.linkedin.com/in/kade-cook
Blog: https://kadecook.wordpress.com/
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/KadeCook

Amazon Author Page: Book is available in both digital and paper https://www.amazon.com/Kade-Cook/e/B01M64VACI

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